Suddenly Seven!

I can’t believe that J is seven years old today. How did that happen? In some ways I feel like we’ve been through a lot since his dramatic arrival and also that he has achieved so much in spite of the difficulties he has. Yet I still wonder how it can be seven years since we first met him and I still remember it all so clearly, as though it was only a few weeks or months ago. Continue reading

Advertisements

Where has my baby gone?

As W turns two I can’t help but miss her baby stage. I wrote this post when she turned one and though the same feelings still apply, she has grown and developed so much more since!

Upside Mum

I find myself asking this question more and more lately. My baby girl turned one year old this week and I just can’t believe it. The first year of her life has passed by so quickly and she has grown into an increasingly independent and capable girl in the blink of an eye. She’s no longer my tiny baby. I had wanted that stage to last just a bit longer – she’s my third child and the last member to join and complete our family. I long for her little snuggly face and her lasting gaze as she was fed. I miss holding and cuddling her; with her not wanting to climb down and set off on her adventures. I wish for a few more times of her lying beside me and not wanting to follow her brothers around on their travels. That little helpless bundle has long since moved…

View original post 686 more words

Planning a family holiday that caters for different needs and interests

At Christmas I wrote a post about trying to have a Christmas that was suited to everyone’s needs. Well, now it’s summer and we found ourselves again in a situation where we needed to really consider everyone’s needs and likes and take these into account in planning where and when to go on holiday. I know everyone does this when they plan a holiday but for some reason it seems to be a minefield for us at the moment, given the children’s ages, J’s needs and my husband and I’s leave dates. Combine all of this and we had a major headache on our hands. Continue reading

Fear of Dogs

Firstly, let me be clear, this is not an attack on dog owners. I’m sure most are careful, considerate and nice. The people I’ve encountered seem nice and I’m sure nothing they have done is deliberate or intentional, merely a lack of awareness or understanding.

J is terrified of dogs. Not just a little bit afraid or unsure – extremely terrified. He can cope with them at a distance; on tv, on the opposite pavement and miles down the road. Any time they come even remotely close to him he starts flapping, tiptoe jumping, whining and trying to climb up people’s legs whilst also trying to run away or hide behind them. The terror is written all over his face and it’s very obvious that he’s scared. Continue reading

Autism’s hard, isn’t it? 

These were the words my five year old said to me yesterday. It was just after he had come in from the back garden, where he had been trying to play in the water with his older brother J. J loves water and he’s not too keen on sharing it with anyone else. B had tried many times to play with him and when that failed he tried to get his own water to play with, only for J to come and take over that too. He eventually just gave up and came inside, where he climbed up onto my knee for a cuddle.

His words got to me and my heart broke for him. He has so much responsibility on his little shoulders. As well as the normal things he’s asked to do to help his brother there are the unseen things, the things we don’t really think about. The efforts he makes to play with his brother, the allowances he has to make for his needs, the times he has to forgo doing something he wants to accommodate his brother and the times he keeps his sister occupied so that we can deal with one of the many disasters that seem to befall J. Continue reading

What have I learned from 2016?

The end of another year and the beginning of the next are upon us again. It hardly seems like any time since this happened last year. Admittedly last year it all seemed a bit of a blur, as W was just under 4 months and I was still in that sleep-starved haze (which never seems to have gone away!) With another year over, I have found myself thinking about just what has happened or what has been achieved during the last twelve months. If I am being honest life has been so busy that it’s whizzed past and I seem to have achieved nothing substantial. With the way things have been lately I should probably just be grateful that I’m still (almost) standing now that we’ve reached the end. Continue reading

A Christmas That’s Suited To Everyone’s Needs?

Christmas can be a difficult time for people with autism and additional needs. The noises, lights, routine changes and so many other things can be overwhelming. When J was younger we hadn’t really thought much about these things. We hadn’t been prepared for it. I think we just assumed he would be excited and would love it in the way my nephews and niece had. Maybe this visit to Santa should have forewarned us. Not much has changed in this respect, he still gets upset at the thought of meeting Santa.

The year we found out things would be different for him was when he was 3. We set all of his presents out, nicely wrapped, and in the morning we went downstairs for him to open them. It was hard to tell if he was excited. We just assumed he didn’t really know what Christmas was yet and, as he was our eldest, he would pick it up as time went on. He happily opened the first present and wanted to play with what was inside. After doing this another couple of times he just wanted to sit down and play with what he had and didn’t want to open anything else. He became a bit overwhelmed with every individual item needing to be unwrapped and eventually had what we now know as a meltdown. He started flapping his fingers and shaking his head, whining and whimpering and becoming very distressed.  Continue reading