Visiting the doctor

I dread taking J to the doctor. He really doesn’t like it. We always have to wait past the appointment time, so he’s already had enough before we even go in. He hates the confined space and wants to either escape or play with all of the items around the room. Some doctors are more accommodating than others, some have toys he can play with to distract him and others allow him to explore the things around him. Others can be impatient with him, have a stand-offish manner and are sometimes quite dismissive.

With all of these previous experiences stored up in my mind, I took him for an appointment yesterday after I finished work. I started to build it up as soon as I left work. On my drive home I began to play out all of the possible scenarios in my head and plan possible reactions and diversions for each one. What would I use to divert his attention if he became distressed, how would I get him to sit and wait in the waiting area, what would I do if he refused to get up to go in, how would I stop him spinning the fan or opening the filing cabinet? The list goes on and on. We have had so many appointments with so many different people over the last few years. Each one brings challenges, new surroundings, new people, different levels of experience or tolerance but almost always the same or similar reactions from J. He does not like it!

Today started off no differently from usual. He was whining as we went in and very unsettled. He wanted to play with the bead run where some smaller children were playing. I managed to keep him back until they moved away. He then jumped around the table moving the beads and running back and forward to check I was watching. He was happy with this but kept saying his approximation of ‘doctor’ and whining intermittently. We waited a long time past his appointment time. He then decided he needed the toilet. We have been trying to train him, so I didn’t want to say no. This meant a journey back to the main door, which was a bit away and I was worried we would miss our slot. I waited in the reception queue to tell them but it was long and he was dancing around holding himself. A very nice lady in front of me in the queue said that she would let them know I was taking him if he was called to go in. She asked his name and smiled at us. I thanked her very much and hurried off to the toilets.

People who know me well know how big an issue I have with public toilets! This was a major ordeal for me. I had to clean up the toilet a bit to let him sit on it, hold his hands and hold him so that’s he didn’t touch it and make sure his trousers did not touch the edge or get wet! Then came the hand washing and drying. He hates hand dryers so that was an issue, luckily I had tissues to dry his hands.

On returning to the waiting area the nice lady told me that his name hadn’t been called yet. I thanked her again, though it probably wasn’t enough to show how grateful I really was. It was so kind of her and it’s not something I’ve ever had before. We waited again and J was getting really fractious by now. I was starting to worry about how he would be when we got in.

Eventually a young doctor came round and called J’s name. He smiled at J as we walked over. J began to whine and say ‘doctor’ several times and the doctor replied ‘yup, that’s me!’ As we walked to the room J started saying ‘ahh here’ while touching his hair. He seemed to think the doctor was going to cut his hair! The doctor reassured him that he wasn’t going to cut his hair and this seemed to put J as ease.

I have to say, this doctor has been the best GP J has seen so far. He was calm, friendly, funny and he really seemed to make J feel a bit more comfortable. There were even some toys that J could play with and a little table for him to sit at, which just made his experience better. It wasn’t perfect, J still whined and was unsettled but he let the doctor feel the lump on his head, look in his mouth, take his temperature and sound his chest. He even gave the doctor a cuddle because he knew who Spongebob Squarepants was.

As we were leaving he did try to steal a couple of smurf toys and was a bit reluctant to leave without them, but we can’t have everything. He got through the appointment and the doctor got to check what he needed to check. All in all I think that made it a huge success. Small steps for most but a massive leap for my boy!

Thank you to that doctor and to the lovely lady in the reception queue, who both made a relatively unpleasant task a lot more bearable.

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Be kind, always

I have read so many sad and tragic stories in the news recently. There seems to be death and destruction everywhere. I have to admit it’s been getting me down lately.  There are some of the stories I just can’t seem to get out of my head though. Of course attacks like in Turkey, France, Germany, Belgium and across many countries throughout the world; the ongoing wars in many countries and the oppression of people is so terrible and hard to comprehend. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are some very bad people in the world. I also think there are some impressionable and sometimes vulnerable people, who are indoctrinated and brainwashed into thinking a certain way and some people who are most likely mentally ill. This doesn’t change what they’ve done or make the families feel any better though.

The stories I have found stuck with me most over the past few days, were the more local ones; related to the deaths of children in tragic circumstances while they were playing, going on holiday or enjoying days out with their families or friends. The circumstances themselves are upsetting and tragic enough; families shattered in an instant because of some unforeseen event or circumstance. I can’t (and don’t ever want to) begin to imagine how these families feel. What I find all the more heartbreaking is the reaction of certain other people.

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